The past week was fun. There was something constant in my life. I didn't have to blink and find myself in a totally new situation. But now its drifting away again. Do you think there's a time to be happy? Just a mere few seconds, or at best a few weeks? Then life returns to normal. Every day during school hours I look forward to ending school, then I lose myself in the company of friends and when I go home I start looking into the next day. This happened again this week, and now I find myself staring into another Thursday. How does time pass so fast? I hate that time passes so fast. I hate that I keep living in my own world.
Or do I? Sometimes I think I live in other people's worlds. Sometimes I feel that my life revolves around others. I change my entire self just to be around them. I make their problems mine, and my own are pushed quietly to a corner and covered with a cloth. I can see its outline there and I know it's there, but I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter. Denial? Maybe I loathe myself too much. Maybe I just don't want to be me anymore. I want to be a new me, who is smart, funny and comes with no baggage. But alas, that cannot be.
Ahh shit, I got distracted by the usual people on msn and lost my train of thought. I'll post it when I remember. If I remember.
-Jont
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