sweet sweet dreams

holidays are over :/

had a great week hanging out at the koi pond and throwing discs and stuff. had a few extra classes on some days and managed to get some work done. not a lot though. there's about three weeks left till promos and i think i ought to get crackin'. don't wanna screw up :(

the highlight of my week was the CQ stayover and CQ itself on saturday! the sec 1 reserves and i couldn't go for the thing itself so we spent the day out at marina square. went to starbucks where they played with my phone (i was doing math!) then went bowling then lunch and threw discs around outside. it was the most fun i've had in a really long time. it's just the feeling of freedom where i didn't have to worry about school or home or work and could just enjoy the company of my friends. i didn't know them or even their names at 7am in the morning but by 2pm it felt like i had known them the entire time. i wouldn't have traded anything for that half a day out with those two Boys.

i remember the last time i felt this happy was last year when i went out with a few of the then-sec 1s for a day of lanning and eating and doing stupid things. i think there's something about going out with my juniors that just takes my mind off school and life in general. it's like i've become that age again when life was carefree and we lived by the day. times like these spent with my dear juniors i will always treasure.

sometimes i fear i get overly attached to people and can't let them go. kind of like during BBSG last year when i had two days to work with a group of Boys and after they left it felt kind of lonely and sad. i really miss all these people who have been in my life for a few days or even a few hours but have made me so happy in that short span of time. i want to relive these times again but i don't foresee any opportunity to do so. i don't even know why i feel like that. it's like i'm given something so beautiful for a short time before it's forcefully taken away from me. like a sweet sweet dream, forever lost after dawn.

i'm also painfully aware that my time in school is drawing to a close and that whatever friendships i have now or make soon will likely fall to neglect after my departure. i don't want to leave school. i just want to stay here and study (or whatever) and hang around with my friends. indeed, school is one of the best times of your life. i would give anything to go through secondary school again. just the school part, not the home part.

in other news, the reality of my dad moving to china is slowly sinking in. and everything else is too. new house, new life.

-Jont