Blaze was today.
It felt weird watching them leave on the bus. We could only wave, watch the bus disappear into the dead of the night and return to sleep. I had my time, and now it's gone. More things like that will come. One day I'll realise the things I enjoyed doing as a child I would no longer be able to hold on to. I don't want to grow up. I love the way (most) things are now (yesterday) and I don't want to lose it.
Nothing much I can do about it I guess. I'm slowly losing everything I once held on so tightly to. And I miss them. Especially the people. I miss the times when my family was still even slightly functional. When we could dine together without one party plotting the death of the other. I miss the friends I had (who themselves have now grown up and moved on). Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm still living in the past. Maybe that's why it hurts so terribly.
-Jont
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